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Seeds Of Frustration

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  Seeds Of Frustration Frustration Google definitions. . the feeling of being upset or annoyed, especially because of inability to change or achieve something. . an event or circumstance that causes one to have a feeling of frustration. . the prevention of the progress, success, or fulfilment of something. My inner sight (as of now) on Frustration: . Directing reality with skills and abilities I never improved from since I was young, and now I am dealing with the consequences of not having acted in the past on improving those skills and abilities in the present reality and so “feeling” my inability or lack of the skills compromising me and my current reality, as I rather neglected the facts, pushed it aside as not important, not knowing how I could support or assisted myself and there was no support or assistance around me for those specific skills and abilities I knew I lacked within in the past.  Exploration: I struggled with WORDS and reading a LOT as a child (in m
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Nails and My Process

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  As a kid, I did not care much for my nails. I would bite or cut them off roughly, sometimes cutting into my nail and hurting myself. This behavior continued until I went to the Destnei Farm. (On the Desteni Farm) I walked into the living room where Bernard was sitting in his chair, he was busy filing his nails. I had a reaction to this as I thought only girls file their nails. Bernard said: You must take care of your nails, and watch them, they are an indication of your process. That was it. I did not ask more or try to find out more about the point, yet it left an impression on me. The next time my nails got long (like in the picture) I took a nail clipper, and clipped my nails as perfectly as I could, with awareness holding within me that this is an indication of my process. Not fully understanding how or why. then filed them down till they were in alignment with my fingertips, this helped me to remain practical on the farm doing all kinds of work with my hands, to not hav
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Investigating Experienced Living And Principled Living Part 1

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   Investigating Experienced Living And Principled Living  I am writing this Blog as I am listening to a Audio from Bernard Poolman on Experience Living and Principle Living. I will write in self-forgiveness as I listen and anything that moves within me, or any other points come up.  The Audio is available here - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMQMziVXReI from up until 1:48min I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and desire to change my living from "experience" to "principled" living from the starting point of self-interest, where I want to live by principle just to benefit myself, to do the good and right thing, to still only have a experience, where this new experience is "principle" - Seeing and realizing that this is he EGO high-jacking the point, taking the point of principle living and taking it to an experience instead of a living as who I am in and as the physical that is not based on how I FEEL, and what my ex
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